Mad #489 (John Ficarra) - Mr. Roids Issue - May 2008
The Mad gang revisited a favorite subject (baseball players who cheat) in this issue. See also Mad #469. Bonds, Clemens and many, many others will continue to lie about their performance-enhancing drug use but the baseball world knows what they did. They used banned drugs to break records and earn their multi-millions. People will introduce various drugs into their systems as long as the pleasurable effects outweigh their concern for fairness or bodily harm. I have proposed that there should be two leagues - one for drug-users and one for non-users. However, we all know which league would have more fans. How popular is the under-six-foot-basketball league? Or, the WNBA? My question for Major League Baseball is: When are you going to do something about surgically-enhanced players (i.e. "Tommy-John surgery" arms) who also introduce a foreign substance into their bodies to give themselves stronger throwing arms? The Mad writers target the worst of the offenders: Clemens ("An AT&T Commercial We'd Like to See"); Bonds ("Things We'll Probably Overhear at the Upcoming Barry Bonds Trial ..."; and both ("Bad News Bare-Asses"). True baseball lovers long for the days when their favorite players were only juiced on alcohol and hot dogs. [JAM 12/6/2014]
Departments:
Random Acts of Mindless - The Fundalini Pages
Observation Dreck - What the Heck is the Difference?
Milking Amnesia - Slomantha? Who Cares!
Cell Phonies - An AT&T Commercial We'd Like to See
The Crass Characters - Other Kids Book Secrets Revealed Now That Dumbledore Has
Been Outed
The Apple of Their Ire - Hello, I'm Barack. And I'm H.C.
Spiking the Punchline - If Different Comedians Told the Same Joke
Needles And Sins - The Bad News Bare-Asses
In Blog We Trust - Planet Tad!!!!!
Serge-In General - A Mad Look at Doctors
Frodo-Shop - What If Hobbits Were Graphic Designers? [fake department]
Bauer Outtage - Mad's Do-It-Yourself 24 Season 7 Plotline
Mistake a Vacation - Signs You've Chosen the Wrong Spring Break Destination
Joke And Dagger - Spy vs. Spy
Angster's Paradise - Monroe and ... Extreme Makeover
Plane Nonsense - Mad's Washed-Up Lost Outtakes
A Poke in the Lie - Things We'll Probably Overhear at the Upcoming Barry Bonds
Trial
Fold-In - Dr. Phil