I'll Mature When I'm Dead (Dave Barry) - Putnam - 2010

The subtitle of this book is "Dave Barry's Amazing Tales of Adulthood."  Actually, that does not adequately describe this collection of stories but who really cares?  This is the 25th installment of the silly stuff that Dave likes to discuss.  Collect them all.  Although he does write about adult topics such as weddings (aka "wedding-industrial complex"), fatherhood, vasectomies and colonoscopies, the best parts are his mini-parodies: "24: The Ultimate Script" and "Fangs of Endearment: A Vampire Novel" which capture the absurdities of both parody subjects.  In "24" our hero, Jack Bauer, who has not pooped in nine years, shoots everyone in the thigh and keeps going even though he has to duct-tape his own head back onto his body.  And, for the vampire novel, Dave finds his vapid young female narrative voice with such observations as "(Stewart) is not as handsome as Phil, who makes Brad Pitt look like a yak butt."  Mr. Barry manages to capture the entire vampire genre in 23 pages.  However, all is not fun and games in the book.  Dave also tackles a subject dear to his heart: the demise of the newspaper industry.  To rectify his transgressions, he apologizes to groups he has offended including Neil Diamond fans, cat owners, appliance salesmen and Barry Manilow fans among others.  I suggest that he must now add Nick Nolte fans and Barbara Walters fans to the ever-growing list.  If you are a Dave Barry fan as I am, you have probably already read this book twice.  Now I need to go back and re-read the other 24. [JAM 5/17/2010]